


hindsight

by glaciesdraco



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, we been knew shizuo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24833098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glaciesdraco/pseuds/glaciesdraco
Summary: Prompt: "I fucking love you""hang up and tell me this when you're sober"Shizuo calls Izaya, full of news (to them at least)
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Comments: 3
Kudos: 197





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Minizayas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minizayas/gifts).



> Thank you for the prompt and your patience Mini. <3

“Good morning.”

“Umm… good morning I suppose…” Izaya said groggily. He sat up from his desk from where he had been taking a short break. “It’s 4:30 AM Shizu-chan.”

“Oh…” Shizuo cast a glance at his clock where it was indeed that hour. “I was just basing it on the sun coming up.”

“Ah, what a simple answer,” Izaya sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Shall I ask you the obvious question or will you just tell me?”

“Hmm?” Shizuo said, the smile on his face prominent in his voice as he stared out the window.

“Why are you calling me so early, Shizu-chan?” Izaya sighed.

“Oh that. Well, I’ve been drinking for a few hours now.”

“You don’t say,” Izaya said unimpressed. “Any particular reason why?

“I had feelings for you in high school.” Shizuo blurted. Izaya turned away from the window, as if he was hiding his face’s reaction from the outside world. He hadn’t been expecting that answer.

“Ah. Well now,” Izaya said, his tone of voice calm and controlled. “What brought on this line of thinking?”

“Ughhhh…” Shizuo raked his fingers through his hair, wandering around his apartment and leaning into the walls. He’d already nearly knocked over his lamp when he’d first come in. “I’ve been thinking about it…. About _us_ , and how long we’ve known each other and I just started thinking about how long it took us to start… to start…”

“You’re a big boy Shizu-chan, you can say it. _Sleeping together._ ”

“Oh shut up, that’s not what I was gonna say!” Shizuo complained. “You’re always twisting my words around and being a smartass and you can’t ever just give me a straight answer without pandering off into some philosophical _rant_ but…” Shizuo sighed, “I decided. The reason that I went to punch you on the day we met was because I was attracted to you.”

“Ah. How elementary schoolyard.”

“Shut uuuuup.”

Izaya giggled into the phone, placing a hand over his eyes, and just cackled to himself. “How drunk are you? Is your brain rotting?”

Izaya hadn’t expected to be woken up in the middle of the night to Shizuo not only making a fool of himself but also pouring his heart out on a silver plate? It was too good to be true, but Izaya bemusedly wiped his face and also removed his smirk in the process to change to a rather solemn one.

“I don’t think you’re remembering the situation properly Shizu-chan.” Izaya told him, interrupting whatever babble Shizuo had devolved into.

“What? Yes, I am.” Shizuo said grumpily, “What am I not remembering?”

“Shizuo you couldn’t have been attracted to me the day we met,” Izaya said certainly, a soft smile spreading on his lips. “You were pissed off. You just wanted to kick my ass all day.”

“What about it?!”

“Wha-? What do you mean ‘what about it’? You obviously hated me!” Izaya scoffed, starting to feel the prickle of irritation in his veins.

“I hated the way I felt when I looked at you,” Shizuo said dreamily, leaning against his bedroom doorway. “I hated the way I liked everything I saw in you. I was so jealous of you.”

The prickle turned into an array of jabs. Izaya scowled. “Listen to me. How many drinks have you had?”

“I dunno. Seven or eight?”

Heavens. Izaya sighed loudly into the phone. “You’re much too under the influence to be drawing conclusions like that. We shouldn’t try changing our past to make ourselves feel better.”

“But I’m _not_!” Shizuo said incredulously. “That’s why I called to tell you! I realized that we’ve both been so fucking wrong about this from the very beginning! Hell, I don’t feel better if anything I feel _worse!_ ”

Izaya wasn’t hearing any of this. He was too busy rejecting the very notion that he and Shizuo could have been a thing in high school if he had just been less stubborn.

“So what, you’re saying if I had just taken to your advances that we might have been in a relationship before now? Ridiculous.” Izaya had gotten up and started pacing his apartment by now. Now he really was fully awake, his heart beating fast and biting the edge of his thumb. He didn’t know why Shizuo giving him this news was such a big deal to him. Maybe it was because there was an inkling of truth to it that Izaya didn’t want to see.

Maybe Shizuo wasn’t the only one who had feelings in high school. He repressed another deep sigh.

“How the hell do you get me blaming you out of me blaming myself, huh? You’re so fucking annoying.” Shizuo grumbled, but then on the other line he had plopped into his bed. “But I fucking love you.”

“Hang up and tell me this when you’re sober,” Izaya said halfheartedly trying at a stern tone. “I can’t trust you with loads of alcohol in you apparently. And what did you drink? Sake?”

“Yeah, it was gross.” Shizuo sighed, “I’m really tired now, I’ve been out with Tom since really late. I miss you.”

Izaya’s cheeks turned pink and again as if he were being watched he straightened himself up.

“You see? I really can’t trust you when you’re this fucked up Shizu-chan. Who knows what will come out of your mouth next? A marriage proposal? A business proposition?”

Izaya almost wished something so outlandish would come out of Shizuo’s mouth so he’d be able to write this entire conversation off. It was too fucking early in the morning for this.

“I want to see you today,” Shizuo said drearily from his back on the bed. “Will you come over later?”

“What would be the point? You’re still drunk at nearly five and you haven’t slept yet? Shizu-chan please.”

“You were working late too right? Come see me,” Shizuo’s drunken whiney voice was just a bit too irresistible for Izaya to ignore. His mouth twisted sheepishly, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s rather mean you know, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said a little offhandedly, biting his lip, “To tell someone you liked them in high school when you didn’t. Everybody hates who they are in high school because they think nobody liked them. You shouldn’t just give out false hope like that willy-nilly.”

“I’m giving you hope?” Shizuo said a little cheesily. The thought of Izaya getting flustered over this made his euphoric drunken state positively glow, and Izaya resented the cliché of this situation.

“I’ll be there in an hour with breakfast so don’t you dare go to sleep, alright? I’m going to give you a serious lecture about drinking so much and then being a filthy little liar.” Izaya said quickly, making an on the fly decision without checking with his impulse control. He would simply take the day off today to recover from the suffering this act of sheer stupidity had caused him.

But no matter how Izaya denied it, the thought of Shizuo pining after him in high school made his chest tight a little bit. He swallowed. Yes, he would definitely have to lecture sober Shizuo later. He was not going over to enjoy drunk Shizuo admiring and appreciating everything Izaya had to offer. Nope.

“Okay,” Shizuo agreed easily. “Love you, see you soon.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pearl this chapter is for you <3 I'm actually kinda psyched about how this turned out, it's so mushy gushy and sweet.
> 
> Food tw to anyone who doesn't like reading about that type of stuff!

Izaya let himself in, towing his grocery bag of goodies and his own coffee with him. The lights were off and Izaya didn’t bother to turn anything on as he passed, opting to place it all on Shizuo’s counter before barging right in.

“Shizuo?” he called. “If you’ve passed out on me, I hope you like mustaches in permanent marker.”

“I’m in my room, shut up and get in here,” Shizuo called sounding sleepy, “I wanna hug you.”

Izaya scoffed. He grabbed their breakfast and followed Shizuo’s voice into the bedroom, which was very dark even at this time of the day. A dark mass sat up in the bed, pushing his phone aside, which Izaya guessed was the only thing keeping Shizuo conscious right now. Their eyes met in the darkness and Shizuo threw out his arms in the most expressive gesture Izaya had ever gotten from him. It felt nice, and he was tempted to tease.

Izaya walked over to the other side of the bed and plopped down. Shizuo scooped him up almost immediately and held him up and over his chest.

“There you are,” Shizuo murmured barely even squeezing, “Finally. Don’t wanna waste anymore time.”

“If you propose to me I’m turning on all the lights and leaving,” Izaya said flatly, prying himself away to reach over and grab the bag. “Here, I brought you an American style breakfast.”

“Oh wow.”

“It’s from a café nearby, it’s really popular with tourists,” Izaya explained quickly, looking between Shizuo and the bag, “It’ll help with the hangover.”

Shizuo smiled. “You’re so smart.”

Izaya’s face twisted into a crooked smile. “You must be wasted.”

“’M really not that bad,” Shizuo shrugged, digging through the bag and as he did so he ripped right into it. Luckily, all of the items were carefully wrapped up and in containers. Izaya took it from him.

“Don’t know what I was thinking even sober you crush soda cans if I give you sugar free instead of regular.”

“Sugar free is _disgusting_!” Shizuo says in explanation, but he can’t even yell in this state. He sounds whiney and sleepy.

Izaya sighed with annoyance as he pulled out the little box with the chopped-up pieces of bacon and chopsticks. “I… suppose I didn’t think about the fact I’d have to feed you.”

“I can feed myself,” Shizuo frowned, but Izaya really didn’t want to hear complaints from sober Shizuo about grease stains all over the bed and it was _pretty_ clear they weren’t going anywhere. He broke the provided chopsticks and picked up a piece.

“Here. If you love me you can trust me not to poison you.”

“Hah? Like I’d be worried about that.” Shizuo said, leaning forward and closing his mouth around the bacon. He lingered for too long and their faces were in close proximity to each other.

Izaya’s chest became tight, and then he became annoyed. What was he doing getting all flustered like this? How obnoxious. He pulled the chopsticks gently out of Shizuo’s mouth and went for another piece.

“You… you should be worried about poison. Maybe… maybe this is what I’ve been wanting to do to you all along!” Izaya stammered out halfheartedly, and when he looked up, he saw Shizuo staring at him with those intense eyes. Usually they were shaded over by sunglasses, and to be honest the other was still mostly dressed, but like this they were meeting each other’s gaze perfectly. If it weren’t for the dark, Izaya would’ve been blushing pretty badly.

He was blushing pretty badly anyway.

“You’re not.” Shizuo said plainly as he took another bite. Izaya focused his attention downward on getting another piece. This time he ate his own. Then he got some more for Shizuo. Bacon wasn’t really his thing; too greasy.

“And how do you know?”

“Just do. I know you.”

Izaya sighed. This was bad. He shouldn’t have come. He was too vulnerable for this. Shizuo was also being really sweet and dopey on top of that, which had been what enticed him in the first place.

How annoying, Izaya thought again.

“There’s also eggs and potatoes,” Izaya said, “Along with toast. Would you like me to open those too?”

“I’m enjoying this,” Shizuo said plainly, and he leaned forward before Izaya could think about it and kissed him softly on the lips. His mouth was warm, and his breath was sweet from the sake he’d been drinking. He wondered if he’d even had the presence of mind to brush his teeth. Izaya dipped into the bacon again.

“So, was Tom-san not equally as fucked up as you or what?”

“Ehh he was probably worse. Simon actually called a cab for him, and Celty’s actually the one who got me back here.”

“Ah I see.”

“She’s probably in shock,” Shizuo noted, “I talked about you a lot.”

Izaya froze. That was… not ideal.

“So the cat’s out of the bag then?” Izaya said coolly. “Well, that’s just great Shizu-chan.”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.”

“You could’ve not drunk,” Izaya chided, trying his best to keep his voice down for some stupid reason his brain couldn’t supply. “What were you thinking anyway?”

They were out of bacon, so he busied his hands with the eggs box.

“I dunno I just… I’ve never truly gotten drunk before, you know? And I thought, what the hell. I’m sorry but… really I’ve been wanting to tell her for longer than that.”

“Of course you have,” Izaya sighed, “You don’t know the first thing about keeping a secret you moron. Don’t you know how fast word travels in Ikebukuro? You can’t just go telling everyone we’re… we’re…”

He wasn’t able to finish that sentence. Suddenly the ending was very blurred, he didn’t know what to say.

“Celty’s not _anybody_ ,” Shizuo frowned, “She’s my friend, and she’s important to me. I don’t get why you don’t like her.”

“I like her just fine. She doesn’t like me. She’s probably getting you an appointment with the psychiatrist right now.”

“Don’t- don’t be like that Izaya,” Shizuo said, placing a hand on Izaya’s cheek. He didn’t sound angry, more sympathetic than anything. “Besides, I’ve heard you say before that you think she’s a monster, right?”

He said a lot of things, Izaya thought bitterly as he picked up the whole sunny side up egg on his chopsticks and offered it to Shizuo.

“Here. Don’t choke.”

“Izaya-” Shizuo chided but he did as he was told anyway. He hummed contentedly as he chewed. Izaya realized just how cozy they must’ve looked at that moment, with his knees pressed so closely against Shizuo’s thighs. Without thinking about it he’d already just thrown the blankets over himself. He was so used to sleeping here, and Shizuo’s apartment felt even homier than his own at times. When Shizuo finally swallowed he studied Izaya with a smile.

“What were you going to say before?”

“Huh?” Izaya wasn’t able to answer in his usual way, taken aback by his mood shifting.

“You said we’re… we’re what?”

Izaya stared at him then back down at the breakfast, glancing anywhere to think of something quick. This wasn’t like him at all. His heart was beating fast. His hands were numb.

“We’re sleeping together.” Izaya said with a shrug, “Are you really okay with people knowing that?”

Shizuo either wasn’t in the presence of mind to pout, he didn’t believe Izaya, or he didn’t care. It was a surprise that Shizuo leaned forward and kissed Izaya on the nose.

“It’s way more than that,” he said flatly. “I love you.”

“You’re drunk,” Izaya scoffed, and a genuine chuckle came out of him when he said so.

“Doesn’t matter,” Shizuo said, “I knew I was in love with you before I got drunk. That’s what finally got me to do it. It was… kinda hard to come to terms with, not gonna lie. Especially when you consider how it’s been all along.”

“So you say,” Izaya said, “I think you’re just making it up in your head that it was ‘all along’.”

Shizuo laughed a little. “We’re kinda really fucked up, you know that?”

Izaya laughed too as he chewed his own egg and swallowed. “That’s the first sensible thing you’ve said all night Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo kissed him again, but Izaya was expecting it this time. He grabbed Shizuo’s front sleeve where it was bent at the elbow and pulled him closer one handed. The chopsticks in his other hand is hindered, and Shizuo seems determined to slobber all over him. After about half a minute, Izaya gently pries himself away.

“Do I taste good to a drunken Shizu-chan?”

“You taste good all the time,” Shizuo said honestly. “If I wasn’t so fucking sleepy, I’d jump your bones.”

“Well now,” Izaya chided him, “It’s hardly the time for that right now.”

“And yet you’re here anyway,” Shizuo grinned, wiping his eyes. Izaya shoved the remaining food at him.

“Feed yourself the rest of it.”

Izaya laid on his side facing away from Shizuo as Shizuo sloppily ate the rest of the breakfast he brought. He ate it all, even the toast. He didn’t make as bad of a mess as Izaya feared, though he did drop crumbs from his toast, which he claimed was delicious from the homemade jam. He brushed himself off after finishing it all before he curled over and wrapped his arms around Izaya, ready to spoon him but Izaya was ready.

“Oh no you don’t. You need to take off those clothes.”

Shizuo glanced at himself and then back to Izaya. “Are… we…?”

“Don’t be a moron!” Izaya snapped. “You just… you shouldn’t sleep like that alright?”

And oh the face Shizuo made at that. Izaya’s scowl deepened as he unbuttoned Shizuo’s shirt, whereas Shizuo’s expression only seemed to glow more and more.

“You’re really sexy when you concentrate that hard,” Shizuo mumbled, and then Izaya really did baulk.

“How drunk _are_ you?!” he demanded and Shizuo was snickering into his own hand, positively delighted to get a rise out of Izaya. He pulled off his shirt where the buttons came undone and tossed his precious bartending uniform aside. He then made it his business to throw his belt to the floor.

“You too, alright?” Shizuo told him, “You’re planning to stay right?”

“Yeah…” Izaya said softly. “Yeah I’m planning to stay.”

Of _course_ he was planning to stay. He was wearing his very own sweatpants after all. As Izaya also slipped off his own shirt, he placed the trash to the side and brushed off any excess crumbs. After their morning nap, he would have to vacuum if he didn’t want to hear Shizuo’s mouth, but then again if Shizuo got a hangover (and at this rate it looked like he really would) it would be a problem with the noise. Wait a second, why did he care about that?

When Shizuo was completely settled on his side he reached for Izaya. Izaya studied him for a moment. Just a moment.

“Your unexpected declarations are too much to handle in the morning.” He told him flatly.

“I know. I’m sorry…”

“You ought to be.” Izaya told him as he curled up in bed with him. “You just keep making life harder and harder for me.”

Shizuo smiled against the back of his head, which he then kissed. “Never ever forget about me, got it?”

“As if I ever could.”

And so, they fell asleep like that, curled against each other. When he’d first arrived Izaya had every intention to tease Shizuo and leave with the breakfast as a lingering treat and reminder that Izaya wasn’t completely terrible. Now he was giving off the entirely wrong impression.

But it didn’t matter. Shizuo pulled him closer and soon his breaths evened out in sleep while Izaya couldn’t help but concentrate on the warm sake sweet breath against his shoulder.

He probably shouldn’t have come.

But still, he was glad he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhaha I need to update my fanfic masterpost on tumblr.
> 
> Also what can I tell you, when it rains it pours.

**Author's Note:**

> We been knew Shizuo. Anyway!! This prompt was fun once I FINALLY figured out what it would be about lol. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
